TEETER TOTTERConfidence vs. Egotism
Is People-Pleasing Killing Your Life Energy?
By: Karen Pattock


No doubt about it, it’s a fast-paced world we live in and it takes a certain level of confidence to keep up that pace. Sometimes though I think we’re all so busy that, at times, we forget the “why” in our list of daily accomplishments. If we’re not careful, our confidence can morph into egotism and that’s never a good thing.

Certain professions often attract like-minded people. Health and fitnesspreneurs tend to be loving, caring and nurturing people. They pick the profession of health and fitness because they want to help others and raise them up to another level. That is certainly a noble calling and one that I relate to on many levels.

There is nothing like inspiring someone to change his or her habits for a healthier lifestyle. It’s a real adrenaline rush and can majorly boost your confidence, (or ego), depending upon your motive.

Let me ask you a question…. “Why do you do the things you do each day?”

Some people act a certain way with the intention of getting more people to like them. The approval of others is the motivation they use when making choices of what they will and won’t do each day.

Some people act a certain way with the intention of liking themselves better. This action begins and ends with an imaginary measuring stick that usually doesn’t let them win because no matter how great their accomplishments they can always be diminished to “not quite good enough”.

I’ve noticed that when someone is a loving, caring and nurturing person by nature it’s easy for them to become a people-pleaser. Their daily validation comes from doing things for and by pleasing others. There is nothing wrong with that but, my friend, it can be a slippery slope. I know this because I am a people-pleaser at heart.

There is an old saying that says,
“I won the battle but lost the war.”

There are times that you can get so busy with the daily activities in people-pleasing that your focus is only on “winning” each battle, (more likes), but somewhere along the way you lose the war, (your true mission). If you’re someone that is running around trying to make everyone else happy you won’t have any energy, much less time, to make yourself happy, therefore sacrificing your life energy/passion.

I would argue that when your only focus is on people pleasing, you have completely lost your connection with your true mission. Do you really believe that you were put on this earth solely for the purpose of pleasing others? I think not!!!

People pleasing is a destructive habit that distracts you from your true calling.

Your worth and value have never been in the number of people that like you or in the validation you receive when you get an “atta-boy” or “atta-girl”. That’s why, if that is the measuring stick you use to measure your success, you will resort to false justifications for the choices you make.

Here’s the question you need to ask yourself each day…

“What did I do today, (without concern for my own recognition), that raised someone else up to another level of happiness?”

Ahhh… now we’re getting somewhere.

When your choices are not clouded by your own validation, justification or recognition, then your true calling and mission will remain untainted and 100% pure.

My friend, you are already perfect in your design without the approval of others. You already possess every tool and trait to Make A Difference in this world. Your confidence should come from within, never from outside approval.

Believe in your mission.

Believe in your calling.

Believe in yourself!!

With love & support,
Karen Pattock
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